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For International Men's Day, consultant haematologist Chris Tiplady reflects on growing older as well as some of the pressures faced by younger men and boys

I hit 53 this year.

I have entered 'The Procedural Years'.

The years that I know some things might need doing. The years when I will probably have to start seeing my doctor. I can almost see the colonoscope being wheeled into the hands of a gastroenterologist I am bound to know.

I keep away from doctors as a general rule, I suspect a lot of men do the same. I don’t like bothering them, I don’t like going with what feels like trivia, I don’t want to stop someone else being able to be seen. I get a bit nervous that they might want to do some tests on me or ask me personal questions about how much I drink at the weekend. I try to manage most things myself, because most things just go away if you leave them long enough. I have never had a course of antibiotics in my life would you believe. I take no anti-hypertensives, I don’t get indigestion, my knees are fine, back is a bit creaky and I have never had a day off sick.

Proper man stuff eh.

The thing about hitting 53 though, is that you start to reconsider life, what’s important and how you behave. It is not all about career, fame and fortune. Clearly those things are important and have their place. But so much of that seems like padding to me now.

The most important things to me are my health and my family. I need to look after myself.

Not so much of the classic man stuff.

I am so glad I never smoked. That is entirely down to my mum, who promised me a car when I was 21 if I didn’t smoke. She was completely fibbing, I never got the car. My family has been devastated by the effects of smoking. Three of my grandparents dying young because of smoking-related disease. I didn’t start smoking like so many of my much cooler friends. I was bullied because of that. I was held down, a cigarette put in my mouth and I was punched in the stomach to make me inhale. That’s the kind of thing that happens to boys sometimes. Not nice.

I don’t think I drink too much. I have already lost three school and university mates to the effects of alcohol. My dad wasn’t a drinker - I didn’t take it up. It wasn’t a thing in our home. The friends I have lost are from the crowd who started going to the pub when they were 16. I looked too young to go to the pub and didn’t particularly want to. It meant I was a bit of an outsider at school. But the pressure was there and I felt 'lesser' because of that.

I am now a ranty cyclist too. I commute every day. Stop me in the corridor and I could go on about it forever. Really wish I had started earlier. It was lockdown that got me cycling. I never touched a bike until lockdown, March 2020. I am now doing 3,500 miles a year just on the commute. Sadly it seems this is yet another uncool thing I have done, judging by all the aggressive motorists on Twitter and some rather unpleasant names I have been called on my way to work. I think cycling is my brain reset, it's my wind-up and my wind-down to work. I would be unbearable without it now. I have halved my risk of dying, cancer and cardiovascular disease by doing it though. Which is quite a lot to shout back at tetchy motorists.

Read this if you don’t believe me!

So where am I going with all this? I want to stay well. I want as many minutes with my beautiful wife as I possibly can. I want to enjoy time with my three incredible daughters and with the utter apple of my eye, my granddaughter Zoe. Honestly, I could spend a day just looking at her. I am trying to persuade everyone that doing uncool, 'non-manly' things is okay. When I was younger that’s all it was about as a male. You had to fit in and if your mates did something, you had to do it too.

I have been fortunate with my health so far, but it could change in a flash. We all know that so well in our jobs in healthcare. All you can do is try to tip the odds a bit. I am now going to the GP to get things checked. I will keep cycling, I will keep an eye on my alcohol intake, I will keep an eye on my cholesterol, I will never smoke, I will get my blood pressure checked now and again and I will lift from my knees, not my back. I no longer care what people think about me, so I don’t mind doing uncool things.

I should have started doing all these things much earlier, but it is never too late to start.

One thing I will never ever do though, is wear Lycra.